Is Peace of Mind, Peace?

One evening, Sudhir sat across from her with his hands clenched. "Muni, I need a solution. I don’t have time to dwell on emotions. Can you just help me get rid of the anxiety?"

Muni studied him for a moment before replying, "I don’t erase symptoms. I will help you understand why they exist."

"I don’t need to understand," he scoffed. "I just need it gone."

She leaned back, her expression unwavering. "Then I’m not the right guide for you."

He blinked, startled. "What? I’m willing to pay whatever you ask."

Muni shook her head. "It’s not about money. It’s about willingness. Healing isn’t an instant cure; it’s a lifelong practice. If you seek only to escape your suffering, it will follow you, disguised in different forms."

Sudhir looked surprised. “Isn’t therapy supposed to fix people?"

"People are not broken. They are just asleep."

“What you are saying is too much for me to understand right now. But I have just noticed one thing- I started feeling relaxed the moment I sat in front of you. I have been feeling uneasy since last week and right now it does not seem to exist.”

“I see that as a positive sign, Sudhir. A sign that you are in the right place.” Muni smiled. 

Sudhir smiled too. “So how should we proceed?”

“Tell me what are you seeking?”

“Peace of mind.”

Muni laughed- “There is no such thing as peace of mind Sudhir. Mind is either busy running towards what it wants or running away from what it does not want. Whenever any of these is achieved, it appears that there is some peace, but is fake and transitory.”

“I don’t know what you are saying.”

“Ok share with me a few occasions when you felt peace of mind?”

Sudhir was quiet for a few moments thinking.

“Ok...When I was promoted to be the General Manager. When my daughter got admission in a very good college. When the biopsy revealed that my wife did not have cancer. When I go out with my family for a meal. When I help someone in need. There are many occasions where I have felt peaceful.”

“These are great examples, Sudhir. Let us examine them in detail with your permission?”

Yes Muni, sure.”

Muni leaned back against the chair, her gaze steady as she studied Sudhir. "Alright, let’s take your first example—when you were promoted to General Manager. You felt peace then, correct?"

Sudhir nodded. "Yes, of course. I worked so hard for it, and when I finally got it, I felt a huge relief. A sense of accomplishment."

Muni smiled. "Was it peace… or was it the temporary absence of struggle?"

Sudhir frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You spent years working toward that goal, experiencing stress, anticipation, even doubt. The moment you achieved it, the struggle ceased for a while. The mind, which had been restless with desire, stopped running. And in that pause, you felt peace."

Sudhir considered this. "Yes… that’s true. But isn’t that peace?"

Muni shook her head. "No. That’s relief. A gap between two desires. Your mind was busy chasing success, and the moment it was attained, there was a pause. But tell me, how long did that peace last?"

Sudhir exhaled. "Not long. Within a few months, new challenges came—more responsibilities, bigger expectations. And then I started worrying about the next step, the next goal."

Muni nodded. "Exactly. Now let’s look at the second example—your daughter’s college admission. Did you feel peace only after she was accepted?"

"Yes," Sudhir admitted. "Before that, I was anxious—what if she didn’t get in? What if she felt disappointed? I was worried for months."

"And then when she got in, the worry stopped," Muni said gently. "For a while, your mind rested. But was that true peace?"

Sudhir’s shoulders slumped slightly. "No… because now I worry about how she will cope there, whether she’ll do well, if she’ll be happy."

Muni nodded knowingly. "So your mind has found a new object to run towards or run away from. See how it works?"

Sudhir sighed. "I never looked at it like this. But what about my wife’s biopsy? When the results showed she didn’t have cancer, I felt peace."

Muni’s eyes softened. "Did you really feel peace? Or did you feel a temporary absence of fear?"

Sudhir opened his mouth to reply but paused, thinking.

"You spent days, maybe weeks, fearing the worst," Muni continued. "Your mind was tormented by ‘what ifs.’ Then the results came, and suddenly, the fear was gone. What remained was not peace, but the mind returning to its normal state—briefly. But tell me, Sudhir, did that feeling last?"

Sudhir rubbed his forehead. "No… It didn’t. Because then I started worrying about her health in general. What if she falls sick again? What if something else happens?"

Muni smiled gently. "Now you see? Your mind is always seeking—running toward something it desires, running away from something it fears. And when it gets what it wants, or when fear subsides, there is a small pause. That pause feels like peace, but it is just a break before the next chase begins."

Sudhir sat in silence, absorbing this.

"You mentioned you feel peace when you go out for a meal with your family," Muni continued. "But tell me, during the meal, are you really there?"

Sudhir hesitated. "Not completely… I think about work sometimes, or about my phone buzzing, or if the kids are enjoying their food."

"Exactly," Muni said. "The mind never truly rests. Even when you think you are at peace, it’s planning, remembering, analyzing, anticipating."

Sudhir let out a deep sigh. "Then what is real peace, Muni? If all these things I thought were peace are just temporary, then where do I find lasting peace?"

Muni smiled. "Not in the mind, Sudhir. The mind can never be peaceful—it is designed to chase, to run, to seek. True peace is found beyond the mind, in stillness. Not in the moments when the mind stops because it got what it wanted, but in moments where you realize—you are not the mind."

Sudhir looked at her, both intrigued and slightly bewildered. "Not the mind? Then what am I?"

“That is the most important question of your life if you are willing to find the answer.” Muni smiled.