Are you pretending to be someone you’re not?

"Muni, I just don’t see the point," a voice trembled from across the room. Maira, a successful professional in her mid-thirties, sat curled up on the

meditation cushion, her fingers gripping the fabric of her shawl. "I’ve tried everything—medications, therapy, meditation—but nothing works. The sadness is always there."

Muni leaned forward, her gaze unwavering. "You’re searching for a quick fix, Maira. But healing isn’t about eliminating pain. It’s about understanding it, integrating it. Pain is a messenger—if you silence it without listening, it only knocks louder."

Maira’s eyes brimmed with frustration. "But I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I just want to be normal."

Muni smiled gently. "Define normal."

Maira hesitated. "I don’t know… happy? At peace? Like other people?"

Muni nodded. "But happiness is fleeting. So is the peace of mind. Normal is not the same for everyone.”

“So how do you define normal Muni?” 

“My normal is relishing my freedom, being me, singing my own song, uninhibited, unconcerned with what others will think.”

“But isn’t that selfish? We live in a society with other people and we should have a common normal for things to move smoothly,” Maira asked. 

“We are all selfish anyways. Even when we adhere to common norms, we are doing that to be accepted and recognised by them. We need something from them to feel good about ourselves- their approval. But it is the same approval seeking that has brought you pain and sadness, do you realise? You danced to the tune of others thinking you will be happy, and look where you are.”

Maira stared at Muni, her brows knitting together. "But if we stop caring about approval, won’t we become… disconnected? Alone?"

Muni shook her head. "No, Maira. You don’t lose connection by being yourself. You lose connection by pretending to be someone you’re not. The more you seek validation, the further you stray from your own essence. And that’s where suffering is born."

Maira let out a slow breath. "But I don’t know who I am without others’ opinions."

Muni leaned back, studying her. "Then that is your journey—to discover yourself beyond the noise of expectations. To polish the mirror until you see your reflection clearly, not as others have painted it."

Maira’s lips trembled. "How do I even begin?"

"We begin where all journeys begin—in silence."

“But…” Maira protested.

“Shh….sit quietly.”

After several minutes of silence, Muni spoke again. "Maira, have you ever renovated a house?”

“Yes.”

“What was the process?”

“Decision to renovate, checking on the budget, identifying the right interior decorator and then handing over the house to him.” Maira said, not sure where the conversation was going now.

“ And what was the first step of your interior decorator?”

“Well, he examined all things and brought down everything unwanted.”

“Did you stop him?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because I trusted his expertise.”

“Your mind Maira, needs renovation too. For Self to emerge, the unwanted has to be discarded. Your beliefs, your ideas, your principles, your lifestyle, your shoulds and should nots, your virtues, your sins- all need objective observation and examination. And all that is found objectionable and in conflict with Self has to be dumped. Are you willing?”

"I want to. But all by myself? I don’t think so! I am too lost." Maira swallowed hard. "I don’t think I can do this alone."

"You never are alone. The Self you have forgotten has been waiting for you all along. Walk the path, and you will find.”

Self Reflection-

1. What is my definition of 'normal'? From where have I taken the definition of being ‘normal’—from society or from my own experience?

2. Is my true self being suppressed due to the fear of others’ approval?

3. If my mind were a house, what are the things that would need to be broken down or removed?

4. Why am I afraid of silence and solitude—could it be that my true path lies hidden within them?